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NEW YORK, NY – On Thursday, June 24, FREE DMC partnered with Jaguar to present The New Classic. The event featured an exclusive preview of the All-New Jaguar XJ as well as other classic vehicles throughout Jaguar’s 75 year history. Hosted at the Classic Car Club of Manhattan, guests were treated to classic Belvedere Vodka cocktails and hors d’oeuvres.
View gallery after the jump
NEW YORK, NY – Alarm clocks are often shrill, loud and discordant. They have several wake up options but I have yet to encounter any that I would describe as pleasant. From the high pitched beep to the steady buzz even random music it is all designed to do the same thing…wake us from slumber. What’s so amazing about the concept of the wake up call is that as meticulous as we are about setting them to rouse us from sleep we don’t pay attention to the same wake up calls in our relationships. The wake up call in our relationship is the constant ringing of behavior that just doesn’t change despite how much you might want it to. Now follow me here. All of us enter into our relationships as fully formed people with our share of expectations, wants, desires, faults, weaknesses, frailties, etc. In short, we all naturally constructed to be perfectly imperfect. Being that we are imperfect, it is an annoying trait of human nature to try to change another person’s behavior. The intent does not have to be insidious but we all do it. “I wish she was a little neater…if only I can get her to make the bed”. “Man, why is he always late…he told me 300pm and its 315pm”. They can be small enough that we learn to live with these quirks. At other times, these traits are more significant and become a challenge to whether our relationship will survive. That is where problems can begin to arise.
Now for the record, I am of the belief that you can’t really change people’s behavior. They are who they are and they were that way before you met them. It is highly dubious that you’ll be able to change them. You can tweak, mold a bit through compromise, but outright change is doubtful to damn near impossible. Failures to accept that means we are failing to hear the persistent wake up call of behavior we do not like. Instead, we hit the snooze button thinking that we can work on it more later…we just need five more minutes of sleep. Unfortunately hitting that snooze button in relationships is more like five more months than it is five minutes. We would rather sleep through what we know…that this might not be the right fit…than heed the alarm and wake up to the situation and deal with it accordingly. Those alarms are there for a reason. The beginning of the day might be a little painful and we’re more than slightly groggy but we’re always better off heeding that wake up call. Dreams and fantasies are terrific but our relationships don’t exist within them. They exist in the waking world…one that comes with calls that might be shrill…might be unwelcome…but are incredibly valuable…when we choose to listen.
The FREE Man
“If what they say is “Nothing is forever”
Then what makes, Then what makes, Then what makes
Then what makes, Then what makes love the exception?”
Hey Ya – Andre 3000
NEW YORK, NY – Recently I had the pleasure of spending a portion of my afternoon with a good friend talking over a glass of tea. Now I am no tea aficionado but I have to say it was completely engaging. Our conversation continued to flow with each pour and although the therapeutic effects of tea took a while to take hold I felt thoroughly relaxed. Beyond the convo and tea itself I was struck by the Tea Sand Timer. If you’re not familiar (as I wasn’t) it’s a simple block of hourglass-esque sand timers set to different lengths – 3min, 5min, 7min, etc. It allows you to time exactly how long you want your tea to soak as all teas are different and have an “optimal time”. This block of timers was simple in its form and function and I loved it.
Only later did I start reflecting on the value of time and its place in relationships. It seems like there is a heightened sensitivity to matters of the heart lately. Everything I read, watch or listen to involves relationships or love. Either we have too much of it or not enough. Either way the noise is deafening. Which made me ask…what is the hoopla about? Why the constant analysis and evaluation of all things love related? That din is at its loudest when our relationships are nearing or at an end. Breakups are rarely mutual. Usually one person wants out and the other person wants to make it work. Breakups also do not have to be consensual. I do not need your permission to end our relationship. If one person doesn’t want to do it anymore then guess what…the relationship is over. It might take one conversation (first breakups rarely stick) or it might take twenty. But one way or another if someone wants out bad enough it’s going to happen.
This brings me to the Tea Sand Timer and artist Andre 3000. Most of the angst that results in the death of a relationship is largely the result of the idea that love “lasts forever”. People will even emphasize and make the distinction between mere love and true love. Because you know “true love” lasts forever…that thing you just waded through for X amount of time…that was just regular old love. Why? Because it didn’t last. This of course is bullshit. Nothing lasts forever…and love is no exception. Please do not wring your hands and shake your fist to the heavens. This is not a bad thing. Remember the Tea Sand Timer. The time that it measures is the same for relationships. Some last 1 year, others 10 years. A great relationship can be only a few months or it can last a lifetime. Every so often someone’s Tea Sand Timer has an infinity sign next to it but let’s face it, that’s rare. On the flipside that rarity makes it all the more precious. Instead of lamenting the end of a relationship why not rejoice in the time that was spent together? It doesn’t need to be forever to have been meaningful, and beautiful and memorable. Your heart can be touched forever in just a moment. It’s finding the magic in those moments however long they last that makes the difference. So turn over those timers in your life and enjoy each grain of sand. There is no telling when they will run out and that’s why they’re so valuable.
The FREE Man
NEW YORK, NY – You know it when you know it. That simple phrase is the adage of the romantic. You know it when you know it. You look across a room and in that moment your eyes fall on the person that you’ve been looking for all your life. Refracted light carries that image to your retina which is processed in a mere few trillionths of a second but with repercussions that can last a lifetime. The quintessential “blink of an eye”. Your heart beats faster. Your pulse quickens. These are physical responses that confirm what your eyes have already signaled. The ground rushes up to meet you. 9.8m per second squared. Don’t be alarmed…you’re falling in love.
It is overwhelming and disconcerting. Seven days a week, twenty four hours a day. We don’t believe in fractional relationships. You are two whole numbers that when added create a larger sum. You deal in absolutes. It is 100% or nothing at all. You smirk when you hear others remark that they “give 120%” or some other arbitrary number. No such thing…nothing is more than a whole number. They are being obtuse but that’s okay, so you ignore it and roll on in your bliss. Nothing can permeate your circles. You both find solace in your overlapping lines. You are most comfortable living in the “C”. It’s a simple equation after all. 1+1 = 2. It’s a mathematical certainty. If only all of our relationships can be so tidy. But alas we’re not simple mathematics as much as we’d like to be. I exist as a function and so do you. The very nature of you and I is a derivative and we are constantly changing as our inputs change. Over time and over distance we rise and fall as we graph our function. So we begin in the simple but we evolve as the derivative. We are linked and I depend on your function and you depend on mine. The numbers are all around us we only have to take the time to solve the equation.
New York, NY – Even as I type this I am aware that I am run the risk of dating myself but hey here goes nothing. When I was in those formative pre-teen/teen years we had a special term if you were interested in or dating someone. You didn’t say the person was your boyfriend or girlfriend you merely said “you were talking to them”. It was vague but not intentionally so. I am not sure how or why that became the turn of phrase but I remember it clearly. “Hey man what’s up with you and Jane? Are you talking?” You in turn would nod; grinning “Yeah man I’m talking to her”. That was it. That simple exchange told you everything you needed to know. We were younger then. Everything was simple. When you broke up the reverse was true. You just weren’t “talking” anymore. Now I am older. Everything is less simple. Now we’re not “talking to” one another anymore. We’ve replaced it with “talking at” one another. We say more. The words come faster, harder now. Supposedly filled with more meaning but I wonder about that. I think we just talk at each other more because it’s easier. We drive each other to distraction with words. Easier isn’t the same as simpler. Simple implies I am getting to the base of something. Breaking it down to it’s base elements. Easy? Well easy sounds lazy to me. I think we should all try to be a little less easy. Let’s strive to be simple. Let’s “talk to” each other again. Sade has a new song “Soldier of Love”. I like that song. It’s Sade after all…what’s not to like? Her voice and music blend perfectly to conjure images of deep longing and affection. You see yourself going off to battle in the name of love. That image is powerful and romantic and has its appeal but on the other hand I can see the one sidedness of it. Soldiers by definition are marching into battle to enforce a particular way of thinking. Soldiers don’t negotiate. I think I would rather be a missionary of love. Missionaries have a point of view and a belief system but they lead with talking. Missionaries extend a hand and they open to you. It comes from the deep rooted simple belief that they have something to share with you. Something that is important and sacred. So it’s Valentines Day…now all we need are the missionaries.
The FREE Man
NEW YORK, NY – It never ceases to amaze me how some women seem believe they have an actual DeBeers diamond mine between their legs (which would be very painful, if true). Recently a good friend shared a story about a woman that he briefly dated, and how she decided to inform him that he made her feel “like a total fucking prostitute” after he ended things. Why you ask? Did he call her out of her name? No. Was he disrespectful in anyway? No. Did, he pay her for sexual favors? No. Did he ever use the phrase “whoop that trick” during any of their encounters? Doubt it (although in the right moment that song could be useful). So what caused such a reaction? Could it be that he merely acted as a willing and able participant in a few mutually consensual sexual encounters during their brief relationship? The same encounters that she was more than eager to participate in and initiate. However, after those encounters and a few further conversations, he was able to determine she wasn’t the woman that he was seeking and very politely and with all due respect, informed her that he no longer wanted to sleep with her although he would like to remain friends.
continues after the jump…
NEW YORK, NY – Since the Tiger Woods story hit the public has been inundated with details, speculation, rumors and opinion as to where this leaves Tiger. When the story first broke my reaction was two fold: a. I hope Tiger is ready for the start of the PGA season and b. who would be surprised by the revelation that Tiger was unfaithful to his wife? Clearly I underestimated the naiveté of the public as the sharks started circling to tear apart the world’s best golfer. The cries of outrage, shock and disappointment were loud and anguished. So, the FREE man had to take a step back and check out all of these reactions and process the information.
continued after the jump…
The entertainment business is filled with trends. Some, like the advent of social media and the proliferation of free digital content are relevant. While others, like silly iPhone apps for every curiosity are irrelevant. And one is just annoying as hell….everyone is a DJ. I am sure readers out there can relate to what I am saying. Search among your friends and I am sure you can pick out one or two of them that are now “spinning” some where. DJing is the new guest bartending…everyone feels they can do it. But sadly, just the opposite is true. Not everyone can be a great DJ and simply owning a laptop and Serrato does not make you Jazzy Jeff or Kid Capri. At least, when your friend guest bartends they have the ability with enough drinks to get you fucked up. No such luck with the suck ass amateur DJ they just ruin your night and kill your buzz with their poor song selection and shady mixing. So keeping this in mind, it’s our privilege to highlight a REAL DJ in every sense of the word. Hailing from LA, DJ Vice not only grew up in the music scene he flourished in it using his love of hip hop and DJing to create a life where he is doing exactly what he wants to do. For DJ Vice this isn’t a hobby, this isn’t work…it’s a labor of love and we wanted to find out more about his background, his current projects and what’s next…
It’s Phil and Todd’s birthday party! Now’s your chance to run for cover! All others, we’ll see you tmw:
Obivia
201 Lafayette Street (Bet. Kenmare and Broom)
7pm – til you pass out
Todd3T on the 1 and 0’s
@ this point, screw the RSVP…just come!
NEW YORK, NY – Everyone knows New Yorkers live and breathe attitude. It’s part of what makes the city tick for better or for worse. We’re all movers and shakers and we want you to know it. Within that matrix there is a hierarchy, I call it being a “real” New Yorker. That means you were born in New York and went to school here…you get some points for grade school…bonus points for high school. You’re a New York Jedi if all of those were public schools. This is a fact and thus can’t be debated. You can always “out New York” someone else by having been born and lived here. I fall into that category. NYC Jedi. I have seen the city truly change over the years and one of the most striking changes is in the Meatpacking district. The Meatpacking district was once renowned for meat delivery, transvestites, and S&M clubs. Now it is a bastion of drunken women walking on cobblestones streets, guys from Jersey with too wide collars and assorted out of towners/Euro types looking for so called “hot clubs”. Of all of those I dig the drunken women the best. Not because they are drunk. That’s just a bonus. It’s because their shaky walk on 5 inch stilettos, while drunk, on uneven cobblestones always reminds me of a newborn colt taking its first steps. You root for them to make it but you know you’ll laugh if they take a header. But I digress. I can’t bash the Meatpacking district completely. Actually, if you’re paying attention right under the radar there is a renaissance of bars, nightlife and hotels that are moving the dial in an interesting way. One of my favorites is 675 Bar; a very cool below ground speakeasy that is a haven of good times and good people. In short, everything you need to have an awesome night. I recently got an opportunity to sit down with Andrew Wintner, the manager of 675 Bar, as I attempted to find out how they managed to get their space so right.